After frequenting strip clubs, seeing the beautiful girls (and some not so beautiful), and spending a decent amount of money on lap dances, I began to wonder what it was like. What it was like to go home with in just one day what I usually make in two weeks. Or even more. It wasn't really a simple decision, I had thought about it, read about it. 

I gave it about 6 months of telling myself I wanted to try it before I actually did. So once I had decided to try it, I took to the internet to find out which club I wanted to work at and how I would go about being hired. I flooded my brain with all the information I could possibly know about how to start off. So once I had assembled my stripper kit (makeup, some basic lingerie, baby wipes, mints, etc) I headed for the club I decided to audition at.  

I was wearing a tight black tank top, some super short shorts, had my hair and makeup done accordingly. Once I arrived at the club, I asked to fill out an application. It basically looked like a sign up sheet you got for a high school club. It didn't look professional whatsoever. It was typed up on Word and asked basic information. My real name, my stage name, my phone number, if I had experience. I think that was about it. I had my social security card and ID but they didn't end up needed either of those the first day. I filled out the sheet and then the manager came out of the club and took me to the side and casually talked with me about my tattoo on my shoulder (a really detailed rose that I am very proud of ) for a minute or two. He asked me if I had ever danced before, which was a no. It was a very casual conversation. After less than 5 minutes, he told me I was hired and to come back the next day to fill out paper work and start my first shift. Weird, but it really happened this way, I swear to you. So that's how I got hired. 

The next day I came back around 5pm and I was taken to the back, told to change, and come into the office to fill out paper work. I was a little uncomfortable getting naked at first but then realized I'd be doing this a lot, so shrugged it off. They explained the percentages they took, how much the dances cost then sent me down stairs to check out the club. As I was wandering around like Bambi (in my civilian heels, mind you) they called my name for me to dance on stage. What?! I had been here not even a half hour. So I told the DJ some songs (which were way different than what most of the girls were dancing to), and stumbled up on stage. I did my best to be sexy. I got tipped about $10 in ones. Some guy asked me for a dance so I stumbled to the bouncer to ask him where I should go. I collected $20 from the guy then took him to the private rooms to attempt to give him what I thought would be the most awkward lap dance in the history of ever. He seemed to like it and tipped me $5. 

For the rest of the night I kinda just walked around and watched everything everyone else was doing. I didn't try to hustle, nothing like that. I just watched. Observed. A couple guys took me for lap dances. They approached me though, not the other way around. They typically offered during the two for one specials. I didn't spend more than five minutes in the dressing room but the girls were polite and sweet to me. One offered me drugs, which I declined. At the end of the night I went home with $80. It was an interesting day, to say the least.

<3 Jade Riley