I've always been very sexually hungry.

I've gone through much trial and error to really hone in on exactly what my desires truly crave and only now do I feel as though I've finally begun to understand. I stress the word 'begun' as I really do feel like there's so much to learn! 

I started my explorations of group sex experiences at the age of 21 when an ex-boyfriend and I joined a local swingers club. My mindset then was "I want to experience other men" and so I did. I attended many house parties throught this club where we were both having sex with a myriad of couples! It was quite the experience but was strange in the fact that all of these people were so much older than me, and I didn't produce a friendship with any of them (which I would later realize is the basis of a successful swinging relationship).

This boyfriend and I would continue to dabble in the swinger lifestyle but my jealousy factor was always through the roof! I now see that this was because I was experiencing it with a totally incorrect mindset. 

Needless to say this boyfriend and I soon broke up. I was on my own for just a handful of time. Many small relationships would come and go and that is where you'll find me now! I currently have a constant fuck buddy and through him I see the truth and the point of group sex- which is where this article is going! Through the years this man and I have fine tuned the art of group sex and have picked apart the psychology of it. There are 4 things that are so important when embarking on a group sex adventure:

1. Communication is everything. If you do not speak about EVERYTHING (even those miniscule things you don't think really "matter") then things will get muddled and intentions and perspectives will have more oppurtunity to get warped. And that's one thing you never want to happen! Honest communication is everything!

2. Set up your rules before entering any situation!  Even if you and your partner haven't actually entered a situation yet, always dabble in the hypothetical "what if's". Recognize the situations you're comfortable with and which ones you're not. You'd rather everyone stay in the same room than break off for "one-on-one" time? Address that! You'd rather not have your partner fuck her ass?? Address it! People always assume they know how they or their partner will feel in a group situation but you really DON'T know until you play it out. Again, be absolutely honest in these discussions and you really can't go wrong. 

3. Learn to replace jealousy with admiration! Most group situations that harbor tension or ill-feelings are those where someone is emitting a sense of jealousy into the situation. Jealousy often emerges in these situations when one sees their partner fucking another person the way that that person would be fucked themeselves. The natural reaction is "I wish that was me!" even though you get it from that person all the time! When you learn to replace jealousy with admiration you can turn around those feelings and make eveything so much more positive. When you do this, something wonderful happens. Instead of looking at your partner ravaging your friend and thinking "But that's what he does to ME! He shouldn't be fucking her so well" you can turn it around and say, "Whoa, that's what I get to fuck all the time! I'm so proud that my friend gets to experience that tonight! I'm so lucky to be able to share him with her". With this change of perspective you can diminish the feeling of jealousy and ensure yourself a good time! 

4. Which brings me to the last item of importance: make sure you have a healthy friendship with the people you choose to swap partners with. Don't get me wrong, there could be much fun to be had with a couple you meet at a bar on a Friday night, with a sort of unattached feeling (if that's what you're craving!). But there is some sort of positivity and comfort that comes with choosing partners that you have developed a sense of trust for and know that you are on the "same plane" so to speak. I'm not saying you have to be absolutely BFF's with everyone you encounter, but just that initial sense of character that you develop after spending some time with someone is so important! Short game is fun but the real benefits and most meaningful experiences almost always arise from LONG GAME situations! 

There's so many pros to having group sex. Those of you that follow me on Snapchat know that my weekends very often include fun with others in one way or another. It's taken me a long time and many different emotions to finally have a clear perspective on this kind of lifestyle. It's not for everyone of course but if you do feel this sort of lifestyle in your heart and you want to experience it with someone you care about and others, then just always remember to be honest with yourself, and also be absolutely honest with everyone involved and you're bound to have incredble experiences!

XOXO Natrona