Hey guys! 

I see a lot of girls ask "What if my parents find out?" or "What happens if the people from my church see my videos online?" or "How do I tell my friends about what I do for a living?" and I'm here to tell you about my experience with this and why it held me back for so long.

So here are the three biggest things that held me back from being truly successful in this industry.

1. Judgement from friends and family

For starters, let me just tell you about how I grew up. I lived in a conservative family. We went to church 1-4 times a week, depending on the week. If I attempted to leave the house with ANY cleavage showing, my mother turned me right back around and sent me to change. I went to a Catholic school, and she would measure my kilt length before I went off to school. If I looked at one of those collectible Pokemon cards, I went directly to church to be prayed over as those types of things were the devil's way of getting into my mind. Growing up, I only had a select few friends as most were not "good enough influences" for my parent's liking. I was sent to a therapist after they found condoms in my 16-year-old room. Now that I'm 21 and I've been out of my parent's house since the day I turned 18, I still have a lot of catching up to do in terms of tv shows, movies, and books. I just watched Harry Potter for the first time last month! 

So when you hear that, I'm sure you can understand why it might've ended in disaster that they find my videos on Pornhub or found my Twitter (and trust me, it was NOT a fun 6 months after they did find out). When getting into this industry, I knew what may come of my posting videos on the Internet. I had accepted that, on some level, people may find out. But it still held me back from trying to get recognized. I'm sure I lost a lot of potential viewers due to having prices so high as someone who was relatively unknown.      

2. The Stigma surrounding this industry

Relating to the judgment from friends and family, the stigma surrounding the industry is fairly negative. As it is, the statistics on being sexually assaulted while working in this industry are alarmingly high. Part of this is the misconception that we, as sex workers, are always ready and willing to have sex with anyone. I can't count how many times those who recognized me from my vids or cam have gotten aggressive and angry that I would not have sex with them (and for free!). I have lost quite a few "friends" because they do not want to be associated with someone who is a sex worker. I was afraid of future job prospects and being turned away because of my history with this industry. I was afraid of my "innocent church girl" image being screwed. All around I was just afraid of being found out because I didn't want to be judged by strangers. But once I swallowed that fear, I began making so much more money and became a little bit more known in this industry.

3. Self-Doubt

This was a big one for me, in particular. I opened a twitter account, discovered MFC, joined MV, and suddenly I was comparing myself to every single one of the models I came across. It was constant "this girl has a flatter stomach, this girl has prettier eyes, this girl's vids are more unique" and I lost sight of my own potential. I didn't think I'd ever be able to be successful next to everyone else on these sites. After swallowing my pride and realizing that I had just as much potential as the rest to make it in this industry, focusing less on "oh my god I need the perfect outfit, my hair needs to be done, I need a big fake smile plastered on all the time", and rather focusing more on just simply putting my honest and true self out there, I realized that not only was I happier and more confident, but I was doing much better as a camgirl & making clips. There's always that voice in the back of my mind telling me I won't make it very far, but I just continue to remind myself that not everyone is going to love me, but those few that do are worth my time. 

Basically, I held myself back for nothing! The minute I went all-in in this industry, I was happy and making so much more. There will always be judgment from people no matter what you do. The stigma surrounding this industry is there, and that's something you need to be ready to tackle when beginning in camming. And as for the self-doubt, that may or may not always be there, but trust me - if I have something to offer, so do you! 

But then again, I'm just little old me. What do I know about this!?

Lexi Eros