The first time I'd ever cammed, I was 18 years old. Still a kid, fresh, not exactly innocent, but definitely very naive. I was already struggling with the personal demons I carry with me today and had for many years. I was afraid, but I wanted to make money and feel better about myself. It didn't go so well.

When I was on cam back then, I never talked. I would type back to the people in my chat room, not only because I lived with my parents at the time, but because I was anxious. I didn't even want people to see my face, let alone hear my voice. This was partly because I was scared of being "outed", or found by family or friends, and partially because I didn't like myself.

I still struggle with my self-image today, but it's more manageable. Not only have I stopped being embarrassed by my depression and anxiety, but I have found a community of people that support me and I can talk to when I'm not feeling well.

Other than that, I don't know what changed between then and now. Am I more desperate for money? Am I more comfortable with my body? I'm really not sure. But the one thing I do know is that when I've been on cam lately, I've felt at home. Sure, you have to have your fair share of creeps and people that want free stuff, but I've met so many nice and genuine people that have my back and are rooting for me to succeed.

My biggest advice to new camgirls who are anxious or afraid is to be yourself. That can be hard if you're at a point in your life where you don't know who you are, but wearing what makes you comfortable and setting boundaries is a good start. Be firm with what you're willing to do, and don't be afraid to ban or mute people from your chat room. The most important person in there is you, and if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, do what you have to do to make yourself feel better.

Camming and selling photos and videos have helped me become more confident with myself for sure. My anxiety isn't cured, but it's better. My stomach is no longer in knots when I click "broadcast". It's just butterflies: light, happy, excited.

This kind of work is not for everyone, but if you tried it before and didn't have a great experience, maybe give it another shot. You never know how much your mind will open and change when you go back to something you once gave up on.

Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think in the comments. 

Callie Marie

lysplet Oct 17

Great blog, loved reading this as a performer who's mental health also impacted how I felt about starting out at the time.

Ms Honi Oct 15

Thanks for sharing this 😙

that seems so cool to hear... very inspiring, im working on trying to get there myself :)

Roxi Red
Roxi Red deleted Oct 14

Good for you girl xx

<3 I'm a new Cam girl and feel exactly how you feel. I tried it months ago and gave up very easily. I'm giving it another go. Thank you for such a good read

Thank you for sharing this. <3<3<3

Yeah, I enjoy reading this kind of articles because there still are some people who think sex workers are victims who are suffering and need to be saved LOL. And reading all the positive stuff helps to break the stigma in some way.

Love this. Thank ou!

Natrona
Natrona deleted Oct 11

I love seeing this side of it! Great job focusing on the positive!

Thank you so much for writing this. :)

💙💙💙

❤️this

Good article! Yes, just be you!!

Great article! I have a ton of fun camming and making vids allows for us to express our creative side.  Best job EVER!:A

Yes!! I can totally relate to this. When I first started camming, I was SO SCARED to show my face.(I mean, EVERYONE watches porn, right?) And I'd heard of so many girls being recorded and shared without their knowledge, and it downright terrified me, especially when I was younger and wasn't completely sure if camming was the right path for me. But now that I've been a camgirl for a while, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. It's thrown the door of self-love WIDE OPEN, and has helped me get in touch with who I truly am. I'm so in love with camming now, it's insane. No other job could ever make me feel so fulfilled.

That happens when you cam on chaturbate or myfreecams. There are bots which record you automatically. Thats how an ex co worker who used to harass me found a video of me putting a 10 inches dildo in my pussy... It was a  Russian tube page..  and it was a recording from chaturbate. I still cant get over it lol

That is so awesome! Camming is not my only job so I do worry for my personal safety and such, but I enjoy it too much to quit. It’s so fun and I’ve met so many nice girls and people in general!

I’m so sorry that happened to you. I had to start all my social media over again because someone found me. I worry everyday about it happening again but I can’t stop people from being shitty, I can only try to protect my identity as much as possible

Hi! I've been a camgirl for a couple years. I always felt the ugliest girl in whatever group of people I was. I used to look at the girls on the street and think "everyone is prettier than me" but being in front of a camera, wearing lingerie, make up,  acting sexy and having a lot of guy complimenting (with words and money) boosted my self confidence. Now I feel sexy and desirable. I've never felt like that before. Camming definitely changed my life. I also learned a lot of sex tricks lol. My relationship has improved a lot since I dont mind fucking with the lights on, I learned a lot for being involved in this business. It has changed my life too. Now I feel valuable for the first time in my life

I’m so happy to hear all of this! I love reading about the positive experiences of other sex workers.

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