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What BDSM as Lifestyle is Like

It's more than roleplay!

Oct 6 17 comments 2,428

BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Although some like to play in the bedroom and experiment with roleplay or even just find themselves turned on by what may be considered these days as "unconventional" sexual acts, many people live daily lives in these lifestyles unaware of the "fetish" it has become. Domination/submission relationships exist outside the bedroom.

Bondage falls into various ways of binding your partner-- either by themselves, leaving them motionless, or binding them to something. Putting the discipline into bondage creates an atmosphere where the actual need for binds may not be necessary. Your actions, words, and general presence give off a dominating impression. Using the two together brings an entire experience of being under control of someone else and having no control as to what you do. This is something that can be interpreted as life acts for some, although having sexual aspects and pleasure, they transfer into an everyday relationship lifestyle. In that lifestyle, bondage and discipline fall into more of an emotional and physical life effect rather than a roleplay one. Bondage becomes the security of being bound to that person completely, leaving you in their hands. Putting discipline into that ties in the lifestyle with rules and regulations as to how things should go, including punishments when things don't go as they should. Using lists, words, and clear communication on a regular basis leave out the "normal" relationship issues of miscommunication and complications.

In both roleplay and lifestyle, domination and submission work a lot in the same way. As roleplay, people enjoy exploring something they may not normally or merely feel good being in control or out of control in the bedroom. In a lifestyle, domination goes beyond just controlling what your partner does sexually, as submission goes beyond your partner just wanting to be controlled sexually. People who identify as doms or subs, meaning they do not just play in the bedroom, are merely extending their personalities. Having clear defined roles, some have continued to live in those roles as a natural state of who they are.

Falling under having control and giving up control, sadism and masochism are linked to inflicting or taking physical or emotional pain as well as humiliation as a means of sexual release. In roleplay and lifestyle, sadism and masochism serve as forms of attachment between partners where trust is shared. BDSM as a lifestyle uses these acts as a form of unconditional love to your partner, conveying them into everyday life of commitment and constant reassurance that the control is there. This is something that is not just done as a form of sexual release but on a regular basis as a form of control. The pleasure of pain and humiliation goes beyond sexual aspects as the physical and emotional marks become ownership.

When taken literally, BDSM is automatically jumped to as a fetish/kink of naughty proportions. Historically, most people have lived in BDSM relationships without categorizing it as such because it becomes more than just sexual acts. When looked at in the porn industry its categorized as roleplay or undermined by people who use it as a means to make more money having no actual interest in the aspect. We have grown to a time of understanding and it should be understood that BDSM isn't just play to some. It is simply life.

LittleBoo

omg i watched some of your previews and i have to say its some of the best ddlg porn i have come across <3 <3

I love this so much.

Super thorough and I love how you touch on the more intimate and emotional sides of BDSM. :) It's not all whips and chains!

Roxi Red
Roxi Red deleted Oct 8

<3 it. Thanks for sharing xx

Fantastic article. BDSM is a very important part of my primary relationship and I wouldn't want it any other way. I love your explanation of lifestyle acts being "a form of unconditional love to your partner". <3<3<3

Great article, thanks for sharing. :)***

Good article!

I wrote a piece on Fetlife about five years ago talking about the different types of sub and slave ... https://fetlife.com/groups/49822/group_posts/2833424 there is the link to it for anyone interested

Good luck LittleBoo on your journey, I was the same age as you (18) when I first started out! and over the last eighteen years have learned so much about myself and about various lifestyles within the M/s D/s and BDSM spectrum

The most surprising part to me was when my friend told me that she NEEDED her partner to take his role of dominant because she needed it for the relationship to work. And it wasnt all about sex. She liked tasks that were good for her. Ig, Clean her bedroom, do laundry, organize homework and so on. And her master would give her a reward or a punishment based on that. The BDSM lifestyle is pretty amazing and interesting

Thanks for your article about this topic. Lots of people need to know more about BDSM. I was pretty ignorant about it and I felt like being a female sub was something degrading and wrong, and I also had the thought that being a male sub was being gay LOL. but a friend of mine (another camgirl) Is a sub (even before she became a camgirl) and told me about this lyfestile. And she gave all the information from a sub perspective. Now I found that I'm more of a dominant woman and fortunately my partner is pretty submissive so we're a perfect match because we enjoy what we do and nothing wrong with that as long as both part consent!!!!!  We're all kinky inside ;)

To be honest most of the times I don't think submissive people want to be used or abused . They just really seem to want to help others . But overall great article it was nice to read . But to quote your article  at this point over here  that you made , Just really got me thinking About the importance of  trust, communication, respect and honesty.

(Historically, most people have lived in BDSM relationships without categorizing it as such because it becomes more than just sexual acts.)

Enjoy it!

Beautifully written ❤

Great article! <3

Ahh love this! Boo this is purrfect!

Thank you for writing this

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