Ahh the elusive threesome, what many wet dreams are made of. As a pornstar, I get asked sex questions by men all of the time, but perhaps none more frequently than how can I get my girlfriend to have a threesome with me, closely followed by how can I get into porn, but that's a topic for another blog post. This post is going to be geared toward men who have a girlfriend (or a regular fuck buddy) already. For all those single men out there wanting to have a threesome, it is certainly possible but it's more tricky, so let's start simple. Getting to three is easier when you start with two.

Ok so you are in a relationship with a girl but you want to spice things up! So where to start?? If you’re hoping to invite another woman into the bedroom with you and your partner, that’s going to require thoughtful timing, a considered approach, and close observation of your girl’s sexual demeanor. Here's the right way to make a threesome happen—or at least test the waters— without wrecking your relationship.

First, how are you and your partner doing emotionally and sexually? If you’re not in a solid, healthy place with her, a threesome could blow everything up. So get good with your partner before you bring it up. Second, If your woman is already the jealous type, abort plan!! Jealousy is a proven relationship killer—and a major risk factor when talking about threesomes. And according to research from East Carolina University, low self- esteem and insecurity are two of the biggest drivers of jealousy among women. She may need to work on herself a bit before she is secure enough to share you! Third, what is her sexuality? If she is already into women, even bi-curious is fine, then its way easier! If she is straight as an arrow you may be out of luck. Fourth don't be a dick! When you’re drunk and eyeing her hot best friend at a party, that’s not the time to mention a threesome for the first time! The less you make it about you and the more you make it about her exploration and fun the better your chances for success. Instead, bring up the idea when you’re alone and in a safe, comfortable place, like her apartment or the home you share. Begin the conversation by asking her about any sexual fantasies she has that you could help fulfill. An open dialogue about what you both want in bed is awesome anyway even if it doesn't lead to a 3 way. When she asks you what your fantasies are say something like “It would be really hot to see you with you another woman. Have you ever thought about that?” This puts HER at the center of your fantasy, not the other lover. This will decrease her jealousy and make you way more likely to succeed.

Now, what if she says yes!! First, do a happy dance because you are one lucky motherfucker!! Once you have recovered from the shock enough to talk, discuss whether she’d be more comfortable bringing in a friend or a stranger, and ask her if there are any acts that would upset her—like you kissing or penetrating the other woman. Trust me. Set some ground rules you will both be happy with and stick to them!! While you are in bed with another woman is not the time to make changes! Sixth, LET HER CHOOSE THE THIRD partner!! If she is at all jealous your input could make her feel insecure or worse like you want to fuck a certain woman! Trust me it’s way more complicated than just avoiding any ex-lovers or best friends if you let her choose things will go more smoothly. Sex and relationship expert Emily Morse recommends finding a single person in your larger friend group who you're not too close with but who would be open to a threesome. With a stranger, there's no long-term attachment, but you do run a bigger risk of not being attracted to the person, and there are the obvious potential safety hazards, like STDs.0

Lastly, have fun and play safe!!

Cherie DeVille