How Sex Work Saved My Life

I refuse to give in to my illness.

Nov 23 2017 10 comments 1,768

I've never had painless sex. From the first expected jab of deflowering to the last stinging romp amongst the bedsheets I've always suffered, and while I'm powering through treatment this might always be the case. As a sex worker, this is, naturally, a challenge. On cam I slather my vagina with a liberal spread of Lidocaine and sit with a jar of coconut oil just out of reach, poised to butter myself up between sessions. Sex is much the same, only there's a lot more wincing and reverse kegeling at work with larger specimens.

I've had Lichen Sclerosus and Vulvodynia for over four years, although after much bickering with medical professionals and being juggled back and forth I've only just recently been given a formal diagnosis. Both conditions affect the genitals, the former having likely caused the latter. Lichen Sclerosus is an autoimmune condition that causes dryness, shrinking labia, fissures, de-pigmentation, and vaginal atrophy. Vulvodynia is a painful condition that can affect any part of the vagina or vulva, but it most commonly noticed during sex. Neither condition has a known cause, and are both incurable, though treatable. I've thrown everything at my angry vagina in an attempt to wrestle my symptoms in control- steroid cream, antibiotics, thrush treatments, none of which worked. Fortunately, I'm now on a course of estrogen pessaries, which has definitely improved sexual pain (trust me, I've tested it) and will be trying out therapy to see if I can ease the pain from a mental standpoint.

Dear reader, you may be asking 'then why do porn? Why not do a normal job?'

My answer will always be: 'because I love it, and I refuse to give in.'

Sex work has saved my life- or, more accurately, my vagina. I can plan my own hours, take days off whenever I like, don't have to sit in uncomfortable chairs or be stuck on public transport while my entire crotch simulates the Great Fire of London. At the worst times, I can lie abed like an ailing Victorian, selling content with the swipe of a finger on a screen. More importantly, I'm able to rebuild and gain power over my sexual identity in ways I wasn't able to before I became a sex worker. There was a time I felt lost, unattractive. I felt like the only woman in the world who was insatiably horny and yet feared sex the way most people dread a jab at the doctors. Now I've found a way to accept my conditions and adapt my sex life to accommodate them. I'm Roo Morgue, fiery, petite, tattooed, pin-up. No matter how much I'm suffering I can project confidence that I feel, physically and emotionally. I love the feeling of drawing people to me and my character, giving others pleasure, luxuriating in their desire. Despite my disabilities, I don't feel incapable of anything, I just have to take them a little more slowly than I might have done in rampant teenage years. It feels good to watch my videos back and see a beautiful, sexy woman, not a pulsing ball of pain. I love it.

I'm far from the only sex worker out there with a disability, mental or chronic illness. There are many of us: this community is safe, welcoming, accepting. We feel at home. I'm indescribably proud of my sex worker family and all the struggles they've overcome. I still have years of work and recovery ahead of me, but I'm in a positive place. Being a sex worker can be such a freeing experience, and I hope by being open about the tougher aspects of my life I can shed light on the good ones too. And there are many.  

RooMorgue

Thanks for sharing this, it's a very empowering read. I needed a something uplifting right now, and your closing about how welcoming the community is, and how we feel at home here, hit the spot.

curvymodelmilf
curvymodelmilf deleted Nov 2017

🤗

SuciaLove Nov 2017

I have never heard of this condition until now! I'm amazed at how you overcame and found your home here in SW. You're amazingly gorgeous and we are lucky to have you.

jessevino Nov 2017

Awesome post!! I've been following you on IG for quite a bit not lovely lady

Miss_LoLo Nov 2017

Thank you for sharing roo!

Cinnibunbaby
Cinnibunbaby deleted Nov 2017

I love how you said because i'm not giving in. What a strong woman and great read!

MilfToe_22
MilfToe_22 deleted Nov 2017

50% OFF ,FOR MY VIEOS TODAY! HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY

Erotic Eva Nov 2017

gosh, i just cant imagine.  I hope your good days outweigh the bad ones.

Aspen Snow Nov 2017

Wow that is horrible sweetie. I'm glad you're strong and stay doing what you love. :x

Arikajira Nov 2017

Lovely article Roo, hope you find the right treatment soon x

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