Humans were created with a need to create more people. All throughout history, we had sex to further our genetic line and keep our family tree growing, but as the world has become more populated, most of us have sex for pleasure. Pleasure has always been condemned (thanks religion!) so we weren’t allowed to even acknowledge that we had sex, up until recently. Once sex became more mainstream, fantasies started to breach the surface.

I believe we are only at the beginning of the era of admitting fantasies do indeed exist. The popular book/movie combo series “Fifty Shades of Grey” is an example of identifying fantasies but in the wrong way. James writes about a darker side and builds a base of language insinuating this side is bad, scary, unable to interact with the real world, and stemmed from a past filled with abuse sprinkled with neglect. This has not helped fantasies become more mainstream, it has only riddled people whom have been honest to their new or existing partner, be riddled with the label of an abuser or mentally unstable. I cannot tell you how many times until I met my partner, I was asked when I was raped, what kind of abuse I sustained when my father left, and a plethora of other misconstrued ideologies. In reality, I’m simply a masochist that needs regular physical or mental pain to maintain my normal personality. In my world, these fantasies or abnormalities like masochism or sadism, are no different than having allergies and taking a tiny pink pill to relieve the side effects you’re experiencing.

Another possible theory I have of why we’ve shoved humans with different desires down to the bottom of the barrel is radical feminism. Feminists help both men and women in all forms of existence, allowing men and women to exchange each other’s places in gender-stereotyped jobs. However, there’s a thin line that can be crossed, resulting in hurting both genders and forcing those of us comfortable with uncommon sexual gratification to retreat back to silence. This happens when radical feminists (both genders!) spread the gospel of traditional households compromising society by ruining the “acceptance” of women being in power positions. Along with the previous, men are marked as the sole root of women being held back. How does this have anything to do with fantasies? Well, we’ve blamed men enough to where they are afraid of acting out any type of fantasy that could, in any form, be categorized as abuse. This hurts anyone that fantasizes of being controlled by a man, that feel fulfillment and bliss from having a man rule their life. In the end, all that does is force us to stay quiet and pretend we’re happy living a fantasy free life and promote not accepting that we do have fantasies.

As a young woman, I feel that shutting yourself down and allowing fear developed by social standards is toxic. Happiness and satisfaction shouldn’t be determined by what’s deemed as “normal”. Being afraid to be open sexually or voice our desires is causing a low level of dissatisfaction in relationships, which extends to every other part of your life; Work, errands, housework. Soon that need to acknowledge a fantasy will become all we think about and everything else is less prioritized. Honesty is happiness.

SlaveBC