How I Found Out Porn Is My Thing
Making Vids is Making My Life Better
Feb 15 2018 14 comments 2,734 16
I was 21 and had to quit my regular vanilla job because my health issues couldn’t allow me to work anymore and I needed a break from work to have some more time to get my college degree done.
A bit of my background: I was very young when I was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was always on the fatter side, so there was a lot of bullying. Also because my parents weren’t rich enough to buy me designer clothes, some kids were really mean. I took pills for about 1 year, went to different psychologists, but I couldn’t deal with that. That pattern has repeated for about 2 times. I’ve started again because I can’t normally live without pills, but I don’t feel I can open myself enough to talk about my problems, and then I stop going to the psychiatrist and psychologist and taking the medicine.
So, yes. I was 21, and in need of money, though I couldn’t really find the motivation of going out to find a "real" job, having back problems (couldn’t really lift anything), always sick etc, so I started looking for ways to make money online.
Like many of the girls, I found out about the camming. I did that for about 3 months, but this is also sometimes quite hard with depression and anxiety because there's always the need to be "perfect" for everyone. One day some member asked me about making vids and I started to look more into it. So, I found 2-3 sites, that let you sell your vids and items. The more I got into it, the less I did camming and found out that this is the perfect kind of job for me. I can perfectly plan my time, take the pauses when I need, still using the future activation when needing a break – and not really lose valuable time. I can let my thoughts fly exactly the way I want them. And I’m truly happy, feeling that the anxiety and depression are getting lighter and lighter. I really feel making vids is making my life so much better because I can try so many new things and get to know myself on so many new levels.
Thank you for sharing such a relatable blog post!
Thank you for sharing such a personal journey. Psychological health should be discussed more in this industry! It's amazing to hear how sex work has empowered you❤️
I am looking for you to spend
YES!! So glad to hear you are finding freedom and agency to live your life how you want in spite of the circumstances that would limit you at other jobs - I'm following a similar path and I'm so so stoked hear your story!
since returning to camming from taking a few years off, I can relate to feeling anxiety about being perfect on cam. I have had 2 kids and now feel like I'm old and ugly, with my stretched out tummy...and I was in a bad car accident that broke both my femurs and bones in my feet...so I have huge scars on my thighs and knees. I have been camming again for a few months but find it hard to work up the enthusiasm for it this time around. I see all the young models, with their "perfect" fake tits and tight bodies and just feel like everyone will think I'm gross and old now.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It is comforting to know others feel anxious about going on cam as well.
Stinking thinking is the WORST! So happy that you found your groove here. Your so right about camming and anxiety/ depression. You've got to be a super human to pull that off. I joined MV for the same reasons. All power to you gorgeous!
I love pretty much everything about this article. I can totally relate to the anxiety while camming, Trying to please everyone all the time can be really debilitating to your self esteem. Glad you found something that makes you happy!
<3 U
awesome!
awesome!
I started with camming just like you then ended up making more videos than camming. I definitely love this job more than any other that I've had, I'm glad you've found something that works for you and makes you happy as well.
#PowerfulWoman
I always knew that pornography was mine, I just did not see it as possible and well ... Here I am hahaha
Glad you found your happy place, I kinda went down the The route when returning to adult entertainment, finding I preferred making videos above camming