I once read a quote from John Lennon. The quote was regarding an assignment he had been given by a teacher in grade school. The assignment required a young John to reveal what he wanted to be when he grew up. When his answer was 'Happy', this irritated his teacher, who declared that John 'didn't understand the assignment'. He remarked back that she ' didn't understand life'.

This was something that resonated with me as I'm sure it does with a lot of you reading. When asked what I do with my life. I have the same answer. I live happily.

I think I decided a very long time ago that being normal was never going to work for me. I am one of those people that had never been able to sit still for long and I bore unbelievably fast. I fell into playing music live at a very young age. I taught myself guitar with the help from many hours spent listening to vintage metal and found it easy to join a band full of boys. I preferred them to groups of girls and to be honest I still do. I spent years and years playing around the country before settling into a nice teaching job at a 'School Of Rock' and handing the torch over to the next generation of musos.

It was while working here that I met a new receptionist. She was a tall and curvy pinup beauty. Yeah I know that's cool enough, but also she played ROLLER DERBY!!! It was 2007 and I wanted IN!

It felt like I had finally found my tribe! Women I related to! Women like me who just wanted to not be girly all the time but wanted to do some rough shit! They had awesome names like 'Bermuda Thigh Tangle', 'Thunder Slut' and 'Beaver Destruction'. The uniform consisted of whatever the hell you wanted to wear: fishnets, booty shorts and mouth guards! I was hooked!!

I began playing for the league that had started in my little city. I was the tiniest player on the ťrack. I pushed myself harder than I had ever pushed myself just to prove I could do it on the level with these giants. Within a year I was traveling internationally with my A grade team. (I'd never left the country before derby)

Last year was my 10 year anniversary and I still play at a representative level. The sisterhood I had missed all those years I have found. These women are my family. When I decided to start camming they offered nothing but super and healthy curiosity which normalized everything for me. So basically I live life under two personas. I love having a secret identity but having two that challenge and enrich my life is pretty darn special. So yes John. You nailed it. Pretty sure you all agree.

Siansunrise