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Girl on Girl: Ethical Creation of Queer Porn

How does it impact the community?

Mar 12 14 comments 574

Girl on girl porn can be really fucking hot.

Unfortunately, it can also contribute to the delegitimization of actual queer relationships between women. I hadn’t really thought about this aspect in depth until recently. For me as a queer person, I was interested in making hot videos that I would want to masturbate to or that my partners would want to masturbate to; I hadn’t thought about how my porn might impact my community.

I filmed a Valentine’s Day video with a friend of mine and fellow porn creator, Angel. We were promoting our video pretty hard and even had a few specials that included pictures of us together. This wasn’t any different than how Angel and I would promote any other content we had created.

What made this different was an anonymous message asking us how we could stand to be queer women delegitimizing queer relationships. The person who messaged us believed that since our video was filmed with a friends-that-fuck premise, we were undermining other, very real queer romantic relationships. They believed our video played into the fetishization of women who have sex with women by disregarding the idea that women can and do have romantic relationships with women.

Angel and I are friends that fool around in real life. We aren’t romantic partners and we don’t have romantic feelings for each other. Since this was the first video we were shooting together, we wanted to keep it as real as possible; that’s why we chose the friends-that-fuck vibe.

This anonymous message brought up a really interesting point, however: how do we create girl-on-girl or other queer porn which does not delegitimize, accidentally or on purpose, non-heterosexual relationships?

The answer: we have no fucking clue.

It is important, first, to recognize that queer relationships come in many different flavors. Queer friends with benefits relationships are valid. Queer long term, romantic and sexual relationships are valid. Romantic asexual relationships are valid. Queer identities are all valid.

Next, we understand the need to recognize that women having sex with women has been commodified and fetishized within straight communities. These are the cards we have been dealt. Is there a way to create queer porn that doesn’t play into this fetishization? Probably not.

Any porn we can make is going to be accessible by the very people who have chosen to fetishize queer relationships. I argue that portraying queerness as we live it is the best way to combat this fetishization.

For me, that means that there are pictures on my blog of me sleeping in the lap of my girlfriend. It means that there’s porn of me fucking my friend. It means there’s screenshots of silly conversations. It means there’s open conversation about the daily lived experiences of queer lives.

So make queer porn. Make all the queer porn! Make queer porn that is romantic and sweet! Make queer porn that portrays your brutal D/s dynamic! Make queer porn with your friends with benefits! Make queer porn with the love of your life! Make queer porn! The more queer porn we have, the more representations of queer sexuality we have, the more diverse and less fetishized our loves and our sexualities will be.

xoxo

sunnie

I like that you pointed out that the queer porn you were making with your friend was just as valid as the relationship/romance focused queer porn your anonymous messenger would have wanted. To say "real" queer porn is only made one way is absurd. Isn't queerness defined by opposing structural norms? And you sum it up greatly with the call to create more queer porn in order to have all these varied representations of queerness. Great read!

People fuck their friends all the time.  So don’t worry about what that person said.  You fuck who you want for whatever reason, as long as it’s consensual and you are both having fun!  That’s all that matters.

I feel like porn is one those industries/creative arts that we will always get questions about what we do and how we do it in ways that can be super confronting because they make us question ourselves in so many ways. We are in an industry where we are literally selling pleasure, and in itself that is SUPER complicated - where does our pleasure end and the viewer's begin? And vice versa? And does one contribute to the other? Or does it undermine the other? How does that affect our real life? The viewer's real life? Our community? And are we responsible for the effects of what we create?

I don't think it's possible to do everything right all the time, and balancing being true to yourself, your product, your pleasure, your needs, your audience, your politics and your community is a really terrifying thought. But I think the way you've described it in this piece is just about as good as it gets in a really special way! You are giving yourself and your queer experiences to the world in the way that feels right to you, and that's beautiful! (and hot too!) <3<3<3

I rambled... lol. Sorry. :H This post is great though!

loved this

Absolutely love this article. You brought up some great points. G/g porn is super hot, especially when done correctly ;)

scout665 Mar 13

I agree. All you porn creators are delegitimizing  all hetero relationships as well when you have sex with different partners. From now on just make porn only with the one person that you truly love and plan to spend the rest of your life with. Otherwise don't make it at all. Seriously, its porn!! give me a break.

I’m glad you came out of it all with a positive vibe! Keep being awesome and keep making amazing porn 💕<3

I’m glad you came out of it all with a positive vibe! Keep being awesome and keep making amazing porn 💕

We should all film what we want (as long as we aren't hurting anyone and everyone consents). You really can't please everyone and that's okay! Keep making awesome content that YOU love to create!

Yes yes yes! Excellent article Sunnie, queer porn is great porn!

thank you for this!!! 
sincerely, a queer gal

People need to understand that it doesn’t matter if its GG, GGB, BBG, BG, FWB, LT, ST or standing on your head whistling dixie, all types of relations and combinations can and do happen

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