What Being a Switch Means to Me

The best me I could ever be

May 14 26 comments 1,897

When most people think of BDSM, they likely think of whips and paddles; and more likely than not they think of women in submissive positions and men in the dominant. Clearly this isn't correct and takes a "Fifty Shades" view on a topic. BDSM and kink is a wonderful utopia of sensation, and even the most vanilla couples may unknowingly bring elements in the bedroom (or outside) time to time.

Today I want to talk to you about what being a switch means to me. A switch is a person who does not fit in the dominant, submissive, or vanilla roles; they instead float between them and enjoy each side of the dynamic.

Within my relationship I am both a little and a goddess; my partner is both daddy and my slave. We both vibe off of each others’ demeanors and have to come to a point of understanding each time we decide it's time to play. Each of us has our preferred activities and limits. Daddy loves to let me color before tying me up and letting me use his cock as a pacifier; I love chaining him helpless as I cane his bottom until it’s blue. He loves marks, I prefer not to have them. My point is that every switch is different. Communication is key in any relationship.

My partner loves being able to submit to a woman he knows he can trust, and admits he feels more strength in letting me do things other than what’s expected by society. I love having a daddy who takes care of me and helps me to grow; especially little things like bubble baths, teddy bears and letting daddy brush my hair. I can't speak for all switches, but this is what it means to me. It means feeling like you never have to stay one-sided. I love the expansion I can bring to the bedroom, the ability to talk about my sexuality with my partner without being nervous or afraid. I can dress in costumes and have a daddy who loves me. Or I can be a leather and chiffon clad Athenian goddess who could take over the world.

Both innocent and powerful, seductive and sweet. It means being able to love and trust like I never could growing up, and being able to document my fantasies here as well.

Some people may call me crazy, and that's okay with me. I love the way that being a switch makes me the best me I could ever be.

What do you guys enjoy? I'd love to get to hear everyone's story <3

xo RealAthenaRayne

YES! Love this post! I love to be flogged, and I have some Little tendencies, but my submission comes with a lot of vulnerability - meaning it doesn’t come easily online or with strangers. And I love the psychology of domination more than I like to leave marks (though I love to slap and tease and pull from time to time 😊;). Awesome article!! 💕

Love a good spanking!:A

Awesome post and i prefer a little of both. Im more dominant myself but when my partner tries to fight for that alpha position it makes the energy just that much more cumbustable.

EnveeMia May 16

I prefer to be the dominant most of the time but it does feel good to let someone have control for a little bit at least<3:gag_me::whip_me:

I'm a switch with females, and I love feeling innocent beneath soft hands while also taking control and seeing a myriad of emotions inside a girl's eyes.

Gozoboy May 16

That sounds amazing

It is!

Thank you so much for putting these ideas into words, Athena. I left hearts on your videos because this article was so good. <3

RealAthenaRayne deleted May 16

thank you! I'm glad

I ❤️ This

💯% relatable. Word for word. ❤️

This is amazing! I didn't know there was a name for this kind of thing. Like you said, most people bring this into the bedroom without realizing it; and I'm one of those people apparently 🤷🏻‍♀️ Thank you for the perfect explanation of switches!

RealAthenaRayne deleted May 16

that makes me so happy to hear! Everyone should be able to explore their sexuality the way that is perfect for them<3

Love this! Between my husband and I, I’m the dominant one. And he’s super submissive. But when it comes to sex, he’s more of the dominant one. And I love it!


This is soooooooo relatable 😂

phani3 May 15

Omg!!!! I never knew we had a name for it I love it!! Yasss!! Switch life!!

awesome i always wondered where i fit because i love doing both submissive and dominant it depends on my mood now i know that im normal lol :]

RealAthenaRayne deleted May 15

that makes me so happy to hear!

Hotwife May 14

Sooo relate! From being like a bratty little girl, to flogging & pegging .... #ForgetTheLabels . Great read RealAthenaRayne. 😙😚😙

RealAthenaRayne deleted May 16

hell yeah #LabelsAreForStoresNotPeople

I have always thought of it more like a sliding scale, where instead of it being the 'M' or 'D' and then the 's' camp that there are those who naturally you have an inner sense for that you feel drawn to in one way or the other, or in an other persona within yourself BOTH, for me I don't switch with the same person, rather I can be one or the other, this is only my personal feelings on this and the way I have always been for the last (almost) 20yrs! Glad you have found your matching puzzle piece Athena :)

RealAthenaRayne deleted May 14

I'm glad you  brought this up! This is a key point that many miss; there is no wrong way to experience your sexuality or any way to determine the "right" way in bdsm. :D

It’s like for me, you can have two people Alex/Annie and all I could ever be to them is a belly to the floor crawling needy slut, an instrument of their pleasure, but to say Bob/Beth the natural instinct is that of they can only be something for my pleasure a obedient slave, sometimes I like to be (or have) spirit, other times beautiful subservience is a tastier dish, the point as you say is there is no real ‘right’ way, other than to let let he individual path take its shape

When i first time heard of SWITCH from my boyfriend, and i can be both sides and dont even know about that. Yesterday first time in my life act like a Goddes for him. We are humans and switching is a key !

RealAthenaRayne deleted May 14

it is an amazing experience <3 I always try to encourage everyone to spice things up once in a while

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