Find Your Niche!

Exploring FemDomme & more!

Oct 11 9 comments 968

I have been a cam model for almost a year now & I still haven't found my "niche". And I think that's ok!

The sex work industry is vast and wide and different at every corner. It makes you take stock of yourself & who are in a very upfront way. You can't find your "niche" or your "brand" until you find out who you are in this world & how you want to share yourself. I am not entirely sure what those answers are for me yet. The change I feel in my personality as I switch to my online SW mode is different than I feel when I'm having an in-person interaction.

In the "real world" I'm still outspoken, open, & all those basic personality traits, but I'm also more submissive in my sexual relationships. I enjoy serving my partner & being used for pleasure. However, online I'm much more dominant. I'm bossier, more demanding, quicker with my sharp tongue, & have this need to command those around me & demand the attention I believe I deserve. It's thrilling. And confusing. There is so much competition & pressure to separate yourself from the rest of the cam/online SW world by standing out.

I think more recently, and I could be wrong, the biggest way others separate themselves is through femdommme & findom. I get the appeal, it looks like such an easy niche & easily lucrative. Yet, once you really look into that fetish, especially online, you find it's not easy at all. I fell into that fairytale dream & thought "I could be femdomme" and I was even more confused than when I started. You see, I've always been a sexual person & I've always been very interested in the sex industry. As I got older, I became intrigued by the BDSM community & really wanted to explore into that world. Its huge & so incredibly diverse. And while the community is wholeheartedly welcoming & willing to help you learn & grow, its members invest a lot of time, emotion, mental energy, & money into this lifestyle that attempting to just enter it & start using it for money seemed highly disrespectful.

Not to mention, would you really want to upset a group of people well versed in various restraint methods & pain inflicting tools? I'll pass. They are a kind group, but they are fierce. And I absolutely love that aspect. On my Dominant exploration I also began to realize that while I liked the idea of being a powerful FemDomme, I lacked the creativity & dedication specifically needed for this genre of kink. These Doms have to invest so much time not only into making new & exciting content, but they also have to make sure they're covering several different sub-fetishes within the Domination kink, cultivate & screen new subs, maintain their relationship with existing subs & stay up to date on punishments, rewards, & so on all while still doing the basic SW type admin duties such as advertising, editing, shooting, filming etc. Now I don't want this to read as if I'm lazy or not interested in putting in the work. That's necessary for any SW. But I'm still really learning how to effectively do all that on a basic level. So, I can't in good conscience give a half ass effort into a kink community that deserves the full effort. So I'm still learning & exploring my own place in this wild, freaky fun world and that is okay!


Love it!

Great to read an honest and heartfelt article, and refreshing to see that you are in a good mindset about discovering the wonders of fetish and FemDom and all its delicious layers, even after 20yrs or so in RT fetish relationships on either side if the M/s coin, I am happy to say I still find new ways to do things and new fetishes amd delights along the way

RinaLo Oct 11

I relate to this. As someone invested in kink, I don't think it's right to do half ass work. Especially coming from a submissive place to switching to a dominant place. We know what it's like, and what it takes to require the work and I think a lot of people, who aren't invested in learning kink are the "pay me or GTFO" type who think that actually works for FemmeDom/FinDomme stuff.
Personally, I too would find it exhausting to be a dominatrix. It's too much work and would be mentally draining for me. 

Your points on it are spot on and I agree with you. I wish you luck in your journey!

Go with the flow. Find what you like and your customers like. I have a personal fetish with Muslims/Arabs. & it’s cool bc they seem to love me too. Dare to be different .❤️

Great article!

Tomiboy Oct 12


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