Welcome to our new feature MV Expert Advice, where in each installment a different MV Star gives advice on sex, dating, and relationships. If you're an MV Member or MV Star with a sex and love issue you want help with, then leave your question in the comments below or email our blog editor at jonathan@manyvids.com. And if you're an MV Star and want to be our next featured expert than drop us a line!

This week our expert is Barbary Rose, take it away, Barbery:

I’m a man, and I’m starting to realize that I have strong submissive desires. My sex life with my wife is great, but she grew up in a conservative household, and though we have sex a lot, it’s pretty vanilla, and she definitely likes it when I take charge. I’m scared that talking about my fantasies will turn her off or weird her out...how do I introduce the idea of her domming me?

- DevotedFan69

That can be tough, and I understand feeling apprehensive, but if it's something you really desire you'll work up the courage. The great news is you can balance her desires and yours and find a nice balance of switching roles in your relationship. You need to communicate that you want to be dommed and explain what that entails. Maybe show her some clips for inspiration. You can start small and incorporate little kinky elements that will make you feel submissive into your sex life, like wearing a collar or using honorific titles like Goddess, Mistress, Ma'am, Ms, or whatever you two feel comfortable with.

She may feel more inclined to being Dominant with you if you emphasize that you will still take charge and give her what she likes. For example, you can follow her instruction and be submissive, and as a reward, you get to top her and take control.

If she doesn't respond well when you initially talk about it, give her time to process, consider couple's therapy to discuss it in depth, or explore ways to learn about it together like books or workshops. A few recommendations to get you started are The New Topping and The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy. KinkAcademy.com is a tremendous online resource as well.

Best of luck to you and remember to be honest and take your time with the process!

I’m a young bisexual woman, and I’ve always been poly-ish but in the context of casual dating and friends-with-benefits. Now I’m in a relationship with a guy I’m wild for, and I really want it to work out. But, and I know this is hypocritical, he’s into it being a poly relationship, AND I want to sleep with other partners both men and women; however, the thought of him being with someone else drives me crazy with jealousy. I know this is weird and unfair, but I can’t help my emotions! What can I do?!

-SweetGirlsweetGirl

I have actually felt this same thing exactly and understand that desire and reality sometimes conflict. I think you two need to create some boundaries and figure out what is and isn't ok. For example, you may be alright with him sleeping with someone else but not comfortable with them dating or being intimate outside of casual sex. So determine what style of open relationship you both want and can commit to.

A great book that has helped me figure this out with new partners is Opening Up by Tristan Taormino, it has a great checklist to fill out with partners. Now, once you've decided on an open relationship style that works for you, keep in mind this can fluctuate based on the ebb and flow of life, so at some point you may decide to close your relationship and be monogamous for a while or change some of the rules, or you'll find one of you is not seeking out other partners at a particular time.

You may also find that you discover new boundaries you didn't know would be an issue as the relationship progresses. It requires a significant amount of honesty, introspection, and communication,ff to make an open relationship work. As for the feelings of jealousy, they are normal. Being poly or non-monogamous doesn't make us immune to jealousy or negative emotions. What I've found works best when I'm feeling jealous is letting my partner know I'm feeling that way and getting reassurance about our relationship.

Try to remember that your partner probably experiences jealousy too when you're with another partner. Some people find that having a distraction while their partner is out on a date or with someone else is helpful, so you aren't fixated on being alone and jealous. Plan those dates for certain nights you both can be with other partners or do self-care, whatever that looks like for you.

Hopefully, you find this helpful, good luck!

- Barbary Rose

Barbary offers workshops on everything from general sex education to BDSM to navigating polyamory. Find out more at barbaryrose.com