The power of a good story is in the telling, and the same can be said for phone sex. It is one of my biggest turn-ons and can also be one of the hardest sexual crafts to master. Anyone can read a person in real life, can see how certain things they do affect their partner in the moment but with phone sex, all those other senses are taken away, and the heightened faculty that you are left with is sound, stripped back to just tone and imagination, and it is so much more satisfying when you get it right.

I’ve always preferred words to pictures; most people need visual stimulation, but for me, it has always been aural. I always loved erotic fiction, and I later progressed to dirty phone calls with prison boyfriends, which is a story for another day and not one for the grandkids, so it has always been words that give me that warm, melted caramel feeling in my loins.

I often feel powerful when I am on the phone to a man, and I suddenly turn the conversation sexual, as I wait through the silence for the low, almost pained groan of recognition as my targeted words hit the spot. I love sexting too–fun for the Cosmopolitan woman on the go–but it will never beat phone sex for me. Too many pauses and too much waiting time in between messages. Sexting is the prelude to phone sex; the foreplay, if you will.

I love the often clandestine manner of a dirty phone call, the furtive, whispered chats in rooms other people could enter at any time or late night, tangled up in the sheets, in which you start off talking about your day before one of you leads the conversation elsewhere. I like a man with imagination, rather than someone who just listens and grunts as they tug on themselves, and this is my perfect way to weed out the timewasters.

People are often a lot more honest on the phone, where they can say whatever is on their mind without having to look somebody in the eye as they wait to hear, with toe-curling anticipation, if the other person is accepting of their fantasy. Sometimes the pause down the line as you wait for their response can be a turn on, alone. I love to share my fantasies because, for me, they are always better than reality and there is nothing sexier than saying your fantasies out loud, fleshing them out and giving shape and weight to them.

Sexier still with the input of another: I enjoy drawing people’s fantasies out of them and shaping them in front of them, adding my own tweaks and embellishments and knowing that they are jerking off, pulling on their cock while they listen to me tease them, often while playing with myself too.

If you haven’t tried it before, I would sincerely recommend giving phone sex a go. It can be incredibly erotic and sensual hearing your chosen partner panting down the phone as you bring him to orgasm simply by explaining in detail your threesome fantasy. A phone call also has that almost vintage, nostalgic air to it; it is very, very rare that I ever call anyone on the phone for a chat unless it is a male friend, late at night, with the pretense of taking this phone call down a particular route that will help me drift off to sleep with a satisfied smile on my face…

Jaye Rose