This girl is clever. Clever, clever, clever.

My name is Agent Cooper of the FBI. I am a sucker for the smell of black coffee and a slice of Norma's cherry pie. I was sent to Twin Peaks to investigate on the murder of a girl Laura Palmer, found in the river with signs of multiple sexual violence, all wrapped in a plastic bag. I spend my nights at the Great Northern Hotel and, before sleep, I always record a vocal message to my imaginary friend Diane. I do that every night but last night. I could not sleep so I had to pay visit to Manyvids, where I downloaded the video I am now reviewing.

And since I have watched it, I have been trapped into the Black Lodge.

Yes, I met Laura Palmer in here. She also kissed me. But somehow I could not care less about her as the vision of another girl, also wrapped in plastic, blew my mind. Literally ravished me. I could not help being hypnotised by the slow movements of her hands as she was trying to free herself from the plastic tape. Her eyes did not leave me for a single second, making my spine tingle in a concoction of desire and fear. Then she laid down and, by spreading her beautiful legs wide open, she showed me what I believe is what here they call "Garmonbozia": a furry, untamed gate to a warm, moist room of the Lodge where all evils suddenly disappear and there is nothing but delight. A part of me was pushing me to dive into it and relieve all my pains but I could not: very few lucky people are allowed in there.

Understanding my internal troubles she smiled at me and invited the Man From Another Place (in the form of a curved purple dildo) to enter the room. Two obscenely long, pink doors gathered the new comer and made it disappear inside her. The girl was ecstatic, her core shaken from the inside by the lodger, and I could see the fire walking with her more and more as her whole body was shaken by orgasmic spasms. She held back a cry and had to close her lids to prevent eyeballs to jump out of her face: this is what happens in the Black Lodge when the Chosen Ones have their portion of Garmonbozia.

This girl, not Laura, is the keeper of the nectar. And this is why, now that I have seen her, what used to be important has no meaning anymore. I got to have her, I cannot leave this place until I do and this means that I am likely to be doomed forever and ever... Until BOB decides to make me do it.

Clever, clever, clever Brenda: I loved it.