My new year resolution is a very special diet... one where I'm just going to eat more in order to get fatter. I'm eating a bowl of crisps and snacks, picked up delicately with my long sharp nails. You can enjoy your January diet, "new year new me" and that - and every time someone talks about their diet, I'm going eat more. Of course, eating more has it's advantages... I mean, dieting in Janaury is pretty silly - and there's nothing wrong with being fat. But, this is something I use to my advantage - I talk you through how I could crush you in my huge thicc thighs, how I could crush you be sitting on you or trampling you... there'll be even more of me to contend with... imagine that!
