Lauren invites you up to her room to talk to you about her final project for an important class. And you are totally flattered to find out that she wants to study YOU! Specifically, Lauren wants to write up a study on your tiny little micropenis. Your dick is not only extraordinarily small, but is so incredibly repugnant and ugly overall that it defies all modern scientific understanding. It's a woman repellant. No real woman could ever conceive of being near such a disgustingly small and disfigured dangling piece of flesh. It has to be a medical miracle that you can even masturbate with that useless thing! Do you have special padded tweezers? How do you do it? But Lauren can't even handle paying that much attention to your teeny tiny dick. How can she write a paper on a topic she can't stand??? What is an enterprising student to do???