I come home from the mall and find a letter on my bed....."Dear Courtney, I hope you enjoyed your shopping trip to the mall, because it will be your last for awhile. Despite your best efforts to hide it, I found the letter from your school stating that you were placed on academic probation and are in danger of being expelled. I guess your father isn't quite as clueless as you thought.I made a few phone calls, and after a little digging I discovered the REASON you were placed on probation was for having sex in the library! Not once, but THREE TIMES!I don't have to tell you how disappointed I am that you are squandering YOUR time and MY money. So we need to have a serious discussion about your future... RIGHT NOW.When you have an important meeting, it's critical that you dress appropriately. With that in mind, this bag contains an appropriate outfit I selected for you for our meeting.Put it on and come to my bedroom. I'd suggest that you follow these instructions... you wouldn't want me to tell your Mom about your little problem, would you? Daddy"