I'm relaxing on the couch checking out some men in a dating app. I'm bored... Should I hook up with someone tonight? When I finally swipe right, of course I get a match. You, on the sad note, are only able to sit there silently, rejoicing and worshipping. Maybe with a slight sniff of my velvet soles. You'll be all alone tonight, fantasizing about me having fun with a real man unlike yourself. Although, I may be merciful enough (or cruel?) to invite him to my place so you will be able to hear me screaming and moaning from my bedroom while he pleases me like I want. How about that, puppy?