At soccer practice today, you have to be on your BEST BEHAVIOR! I don't know what's come over you lately! Your couch pulled me aside at your last practice to tell me about your behavior. Oh my god, everyone is here, you better not act up. I will ground you for 2 months if you misbehave again! You're so close to being kicked off the team, and you're such a good player! OK, grab your stuff. Come on! I'm parking! See everyone is here, the entire team, the other parents, you need to seriously be- OH MY GOD, NO! no no no no no! Honey, I do not know what's going on with you, but you have an ERECTION, AGAIN. Maybe your hormones are acting up, but we have to get rid of this erection NOW. Oh my God, Cindy is here, we have to leave. We have to go to the back of the parking lot. What would they think if they saw me, your MOTHER, jerking off her SON! Now, I'm going to take care of this problem today, but from now on, if you feel like you can't perform, you tell me, so we are not stuck in the PARKING LOT while I jerk off my son because he has no more brain cells left in his HEAD because they all went to his PENIS! You had better hurry up!