You come home to find me reclining on the couch, looking hot as fuck (as usual), flipping through a magazine. Oh, you got me a Valentine's present?! GIMME GIMME!! Wait...this is a joke, right? Chocolates? Where are the roses? Where's my actual gift? Jewelry? ANYTHING? Oh my god, I can't believe you got me HERSHEY'S CHOCOLATE for Valentine's Day! You probably spent like four dollars on this trash at the grocery store! It's not even good chocolate! What's wrong with you?! Is this what you think of me?? Well, I'll show you what I think of your "gift".... I pour your disgusting, pathetic chocolates on the floor and crush them beneath my feet, berating you the whole time. You loser! I wish it was YOU I was crushing instead!