Mom cheated on you? Wow... and she's not coming home? Wow... I mean... I'm shocked. Although, I'm surprised by the cheating, but not by her running off. That's so her, being a big CUNT, huh? Listen Dad, this has nothing to do with you. You've been perfect. In every way. She knows better. There's no reason for her to have cheated on you. No excuse. Daddy, honestly, it's not you. Really, you didn't do anything wrong. She's TERRIBLE. You know Daddy, I heard about places where people can dump their stress when they're really upset... and I do want you to relax, calm down from all this. Forget about Mom. Forget about your troubles. Let me be your dumping spot. It's a nice, tight, wet... spot... just for you.