Hello, brother. I hope I'm not intruding on your private time. I wanted to speak with you while our parents are out of the house. You see, I have an issue, and I think you're the only one who can help me with it. I seem to be suffering from coitophobia. What is it? Well... It's a fear of vaginal intercourse. You see, I overheard some other girls at our graduation, and they were talking about how important it is to "lose it" before college. After doing some research, I discovered that they meant "losing their virginity". I attempted to take matters into my own hands, quite literally, by inserting an object myself-- but I just couldn't manage it. Every time I got close to inserting a toy, I panicked and couldn't do it. That's why I need you. I went over all the details, and it shouldn't be a problem. We're not related. We're the same age. We're both heterosexual, and have all the proper functioning parts. And just so you know, brother, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to ensure you're a willing participant. I'm also willing to perform certain functions to ensure you obtain an erection. So? Will you help me, brother? Will you help me lose my virginity?