I taught myself a lot about my body with this dildo. When I was starting to have gay sex, about ten years ago, I worked my way up to fucking myself - and deep throating - this 25cm dildo. I wanted to test what my body could take, so I could trust myself in situations that I wanted to put myself in, like sex parties at Lab.Oratory. I have only been fucked by a couple of men as large as this dildo. I love how thick it is, swollen against my prostate as I pull out. I taught myself to squirt using it as well - huge prostate orgasms that expel a lot of fluid. Look it up! Here in this video I am fucking myself deeply, riding it and letting my pleasure overcome me. I also wank myself, but phallic orgasms are the least interesting ones I can have. It was more an act of pornographic closure, lest I keep using the toy all day. I love how much my arse gapes after I have done this, but I don't show that here. For me, this is a form of queer embodiment through acts of degenitalised pleasure.