You have been steadily gaining hundreds of pounds all year by eating thousands of calories in one sitting but this summer I want you to really pile on some extra weight. you need to work on your “beach body” aka big belly, lack of neck, and man boobs. This summer, you will scare many people on the beach just by showing up. I instruct you to visit the beach regularly just to humiliate yourself. you will be eating thousands of calories while sitting on your fat ass at the beach, oinking like a pig with each bite of food you take. People will be pointing and laughing at you, wondering “do you think that man can even see his penis when he looks down or do you think he has to dig through all of those belly rolls just to be able to catch a glimpse of it?”