Let’s be real. Does it really matter what I say here? All you have to do is look at that preview, and you’re hooked. You’re weak for my fat ass no matter what it’s in, but a pair of yoga pants as tight as these? Where you can see the full thickness of my cheeks and the forbidden stretch of cleavage between them? It doesn’t matter if I berate you or tease you or just laugh at you for seven minutes straight. You’ll buy it anyway just so you can worship my ass in yoga pants some more.