There are many stages in a person’s life: when being a virgin is expected, when it’s acceptable, when it’s not ideal but understandable, when it’s unusual but more pitiable than anything. You’re past all of those. You’re at the point where still hanging on to your virginity is just fucking weird. It’s a sign that something is wrong with you and you need to be fixed. Luckily, Mommy has lots of experience dealing with boys like you. You need to stop being a man and embrace your future as a permanent little.