"Oh my god, honey, what're you doing in here? Are you...masturbating?! Darling, I've always told you that's wrong, you shouldn't touch yourself like that - it's desecration of your sacred, virgin body! Your perfect body is like a temple, and this is disgraceful, haven't I always told you that?...so why didn't you listen to me? Well, all men get erections, but didn't I always tell you that if you get an erection, you just think about me - about how disappointed I'd be in you if you 'took care of it' with your hands - and it'll go away? So? Why didn't you do that? Oh, you did think about step-mommy...but it didn't work?..." "...Well, how could it have made things worse, darling? Surely you can't be saying that thinking about your step-mother made your penis more erect?? Oh, my...oh my goodness, well...that's...certainly not what I had hoped for. My goodness, I feel responsible! What...what could I possibly do to make it better, darling?...You want me to...what? Oh, no, I don't think that would...well, that's true. It would prevent you from masturbating. Well, maybe then that's the best option. Ok. Well, ok, here goes..."