"Oh my god, honey, what're you doing in here? Are you...masturbating?! Darling, I've always told you that's wrong, you shouldn't touch yourself like that - it's desecration of your sacred, virgin body! Your perfect body is like a temple, and this is disgraceful, haven't I always told you that?...so why didn't you listen to me? Well, all young boys get erections, but didn't I always tell you that if you get an erection, you just think about me - about how disappointed I'd be in you if you 'took care of it' with your hands - and it'll go away? So? Why didn't you do that? Oh, you did think about mommy...but it didn't work?..." "...Well, how could it have made things worse, darling? Surely you can't be saying that thinking about your mother made your penis more erect?? Oh, my...oh my goodness, well...that's...certainly not what I had hoped for. My goodness, I feel responsible! What...what could I possibly do to make it better, darling?...You want me to...what? Oh, no, I don't think that would...well, that's true. It would prevent you from masturbating. Well, maybe then that's the best option. Ok. Well, ok, here goes..."