Listen honey, I know you're practically a grown man now, but deep down you probably know you should still listen to your step-Mom! Like when I told you to be careful on your skateboard and not to try to do anything to impress your friends. And now look where you are- a broken wrist over the summer holidays. Now, I'm not naive, I know exactly why you've been so crabby the last week. That's your right hand and that's obviously the hand you use to, you know, jerk off. So, I thought I'd offer to help you out if only to restore some peace to the house! I used to be quite the lady about town when I was your age so I bet I still remember some of my old tricks...