You already have such a dirty mouth but I want to make it physically filthy. I've had these trainers for years, they're old, caked in grime, mud and very stinky. But I do like to restore things so you're the lucky boy who will be giving them a tongue bath and making them sparkly clean. Haha yes I know I have like a gazillion pairs of trainers but I want to see you on your knees with your tongue slipping in and out of the treds on my sole. You'll look so weak and inferior as I press them over your nose and mouth like a gas mask, then make you inhale years worth of my sweaty feet.