You’ve been caught by another nun who works in the seminary and brought to me for treatment. She found a used condom in your trash, there’s no denying it now. We know that you’re a fornicator and if you keep on like this, there’s no way of you ever becoming a priest. But that’s okay, as the seminary’s only medical practitioner, I think I can help purify you. I read to you from the Bible, citing how your body is for use by God and that every fornication is another sin. To treat you, I examine you, then take your temperature rectally. Your ass is far too loose for a man of God, and this is further proof that you need my help. I open your ass with my speculum, wearing my latex gloves and exam gloves the entire time. I then give you a holy water enema to wash all the sin from deep inside you. I’ve dealt with fornicators like you before with castration, but for you, I think I’ll try a different angle--to recondition you to associate pleasure with pain. I put needles in the head of your penis in the shape of a cross to remind you of Jesus’s suffering. I’m going to need to see you several more times for multiple treatments--this is the only way to keep you from going to hell.