I'm sure your wife has a list of thing she would love to see underneath the tree this year, but guess what? She's going to be left with a lump of coal because Princess Candy owns her husband. Princess Candy owns your joint bank account. I want all of the gifts for myself, because I deserve it. Be a good slave boy for your actual queen. I own you, I make you feel so good. I have been a bad girl in the best way, and she has been a bad girl in a really boring way. She doesn't deserve gifts. I do.