This might be hard for you to hear but… no I don’t love you. In fact it makes me cringe when you say you love me. I think I just liked the things you were buying me. My friends keep telling me that I’m out of your league and, well I think they have a point. You know how guys keep hitting on me in front of you. I think it’s because they guess that I can’t be with you. Or maybe they think I could be doing much better so they'll step in. I know my looks make you feel insecure. Like, you knew this would happen at some point. So this will be good for us both. You’ll be able to find some little woman who’s happy to do be with someone, you know, mediocre. And I’ll find someone more on my level. Someone who knows how to satisfy a woman. Cheer up.