Hi, honey. I have kind of a big favor to ask of you. You know how hard it is for me to find a decent guy out there. It seems like if they’re not a creep, then they’re an asshole, and all of them—even the ones I think could be good guys—want...well, you know...sex. It’s exhausting, trying to weed out all the duds so I can finally find us the perfect husband and stepdad. So what do you say to the idea of giving me a hand? Nothing too time-consuming. Just...test-drive them for me, let’s say. Make sure they’re man enough to satisfy me. You probably don’t know this about me, but I can be very demanding in certain intimate settings. So what do you say? Come on. It’ll be fun. You’re a young man. Are you really going to turn down sex, no matter who it’s with and why? Still no? Well, too bad. You’re going to do it, and that’s final.