You just love getting down on your knees and worshipping my feet. There's no better place for you than with your nose to the ground, kissing and massaging. I started up running again and it is wreaking havoc on my feet. You desperately want to be the one to pamper my feet and keep them in perfect condition. I know you want to wash, smooth and rub lotion into them more than anything else, but let's get a dose of reality. You're buying my clips online and are not here to serve me. So stop being selfish with your little fantasies and start doing something real: paying for my weekly pedicures. If you really want to be my foot boy it's time to step up.