Let's be honest - You're going to be single forever. It's time to stop chasing this dream of finding the perfect partner, and accept it's not going to happen for you. Give up. The sooner you realise this, the sooner you can embrace what you are always supposed to have been: a loyal submissive. You need that feeling of being small, of being weak. Submit to this lifestyle fully, and accept that you will never have anyone fall in love with you. Start being a good sub and start being useful.