I'm afraid I've got something important to talk to you about. See, I noticed all these weird charges coming up on my credit card statement - and all at small hours of the morning. I'm afraid I went and looked through your room to try and figure out what it could be. I worried you might be on something! Well, while I was looking I think I found what it was - you've been buying porn with my credit card, haven't you? I noticed immediately that this wasn't vanilla porn either - you've been looking at strap on porn, and from what I could tell even looking at booking a dominatrix! Well for one thing, you're grounded - you can't just use my credit card without permission like that! And for another, if you wanted to explore strap on play you know you should have said something... you M0m probably seems a bit old and boring but obviously you haven't been digging through my closet lately.
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