Babe, this t-shirt is perfect for the concert but I can't wear it...it's too short and is showing off all the weight I've gained recently. Look at my tummy and my muffin top...I look frumpy! I've just been eating so much lately, especially with the quarantine and it's making me so self-conscious. I hope you still love me. Wait....you like me like this and would love me to gain more? Really?? You want to touch it...? Well, okay babe, seeing as you seem to like it so much. It really does make me feel better that you like this extra fat on me. Maybe I will wear the short t-shirt tonight just for you....