Captain, it is unfortunately my duty to inform you: your test came back positive. You do have the virus. Our top scientists are working on a cure as we speak, but you likely have only a few hours left to live, it's time to get your affairs in order. Wait! I'm getting something on my comm now... the virus can be slowed through arousal! Climax is the cure! Captain, we have NO time to waste, we must act immediately, get out your dick and start stroking it! Do you need some visual stimulation? I'd be more than happy to oblige.