You come to me, your step-mother, with concerns that you're going to remain a virgin forever. You're hoping that I will reassure you, but unfortunately I decide to just be honest with you. I mean, look at you sweetheart- you're not the finest specimen of a man out there, you don't have a great personality and your 'equipment' probably isn't that impressive either. I say all this in the most supportive and loving way, I am your step-mother after all! But sweetie, the sooner you realise that you're just going to remain a virgin forever, the better.