For the serious home wreckers who enjoy the sick, twisted fantasies: Lay down on the bed you share with your wife. Straddle your pillow and let the anger and resentment build. She’s such a vanilla prude. She’s not fun. She doesn’t even really like being eaten out. Who doesn’t like that? Rock and back and forth on your pillow for me. Really bang away at that soft, supple material. You hate your wife; don’t you? Tell me.