Let's be honest here, you probably aren't actually gay. You've fantasized a bit and perhaps even watched a little gay porn but that's about it. When it comes to the idea of being with a guy you just can't bring yourself to. You get nervous and maybe your skin crawls a little bit. But you're just going to have to suck it up for me, pretend you actually like it. Just get it over with and do it, feign interest and enthusiasm if you have to. Fake it till you actually start liking it. Eventually, you'll turn into an eager cock sucking slut, it'll just take some pretending to start out.