Since we matched on Tinder (to everyone's surprise), we've been getting to know each other very intimately. You're totally obsessed with me...you even told me you think you're falling in love. Well, I think I'm ready to take things to the next level. Unfortunately, my idea of "next level" is very different from yours.... See, you're not the only guy I matched with on Tinder. You're just the one I chose to be our lucky cucky victim.