Hey, virgin. I see you’ve made the right choice and stayed chaste. You know you aren’t worthy of pussy, and frankly, you’d be horrible at it anyways. I instruct you, however, how to stroke PERFECTLY. Today, we will even be edging to my hotness. Don’t you just LOVE my outfit? Of course you do. It’s time to celebrate this jerk occasion and send your virgin tax while you pump and play. Say “thank you, Goddess. My dick is useless to women.”