You work in my office as an errand/assistant for all the other employees and I've noticed how eager you are to please and seem to connect so well with all the males, so I've called you in to discuss a promotion which would come with a very extensive pay raise. Of course your new position would have much different duties from your current, I don't think this is an offer you'll want to pass up. This is every closet f @ g s dream come true!