You’re a selfish boyfriend. Sex might be great for you, but for me it’s a total bore. I’ve tried everything I can think of to teach you how to please me, but still you’re a selfish, bumbling mass of incompetence and disappointment. Actually…I take that back. I’ve tried ALMOST everything I can think of. There is one more thing. You’re such a fat-ass, such a face-stuffing pig… It wouldn’t be hard to use your love of food in a way that benefits me. With the right motivation, maybe I can convince you to put in the effort to please me. And nothing motivates you quite like being able to sit around and gorge yourself.