Numbers on a scale might be the most precise way to measure weight gain. But I find them unsatisfying. I shouldn’t have to put your fat ass on a scale to see proof of your devotion to me. I should be able to see it every time I look at you. Of course I know perception is hard to measure without a very specific goal in mind. We still need something concrete for you to work toward. Hmm. But what? I have an idea. An idea that will be shameful and degrading for you…which just means I like it even more.