I'm on the phone, talking to my friend Angela. I've had such a hard week! First, my new boyfriend (who I thought might be The One) bought me a bicycle for a birthday present (AWFUL!!!) and then I spent all day yesterday on a TikTok video that might not even go viral! I'm glad we're going out for dinner tonight, to relax and have a really good talk about all our traumatic experiences. I tell her to come in when she arrives - the door's open and I need to take a few selfies of my new outfit.  But it's not her who comes in at all! It's a man who wants to take me prisoner and hold me for ransom! He clamps one hand over my mouth, and the next thing I know, I'm securely tied to a chair with ropes everywhere! At least he hasn't cut off my clothes - I simply couldn't bear that, and the last man who snatched me absolutely ruined an expensive jacket.  I struggle and struggle, but it turns out to be almost impossible to escape. Well, not *almost* actually. Totally impossible omg!  He soon comes back to gag me even though I promise not to make any noise. How rude! So now I'm ballgagged and tied to a chair in my knee high leather boots, tight black jeans, floppy hat and peasant top. It's sooooo irritating. Then it's time for me to call my dad to provide the ransom. Urgh, it's all so demeaning. The man makes me ask my dad for £2M, and then he covers my mouth with his hand again, before gagging me with the ballgag. Again! I'm so sick of this; is it even clean??  And do I have to get importuned like this on such a regular basis? It's hard being a famous millionaire socialite!